Someone asked the question- “If we forgive, won’t we feel more isolated?”
These are my thoughts.
The answer is quite the opposite. By recognizing that we are our brother, that we are all one, we feel more connected. When we release our fears, and recognize that at the level of spirit (that which is eternal and real about us) we cannot be hurt, then we have the freedom to not be at the effect of other people. We become at the effect of our loving “God” within. We may then choose to be with someone, or not to be with them, but we feel the freedom of that choice. In contrast, when we are unforgiving we remain at the effect of external events. Our ego’s idea of defense guides our actions. Which always bring us the experience of separation.
When other people and events no longer trigger our upsets, because we realize that they are either loving, or fearful (also known as a call for love), then we don’t have to separate ourselves. We recognize that we all suffer from identifying with our egos, and that forgiveness is the path to experience grace for ourselves and others. And in this space we feel more connected with the love all around us.
You may have to try this to believe it. For sure, we have all tried “unforgiveness” or what I call “pretend forgiveness (you hurt me but because I am better than you, or holier than thou I let you slide” or “fake it till you make it” forgiveness. If these work to bring peace, it is always temporary. It is bargaining. It does not work to bring us authentically closer to other people.
When you are ready to accept true forgiveness, and ask holy spirit (that voice inside of you that knows and desires peace and happiness) to help you to change your mind toward whatever insult you are holding onto, i.e. the meaning you are giving something that keeps you in “victim” or “hurting” mode, then you will find peace.
That is why it is important for us initially to merely observe our judgements, our ego thoughts and actions. And ask if they serve the purpose of love or of separation.
The beautiful result of training our minds is that we are in control of aligning our mind with the Idea of Love, versus the Idea of Fear. We DO have the ability to change our mind. We are not at the effect of the world we see, unless it serves our ego. We cannot, however, serve our ego and have Peace.
So as we brought our meeting to close, we contemplated how to use what we learned in our upcoming week. It is our intention to look at a recurrent theme in our life, over time, where we are triggered to become upset. And change our mind. And experience the miracle. Notice how and what we can forgive, and see how doing that changes the past and our future. Thus changing the perception of the past demonstrates to us that time is not real, as forgiveness transcends the longitudinal concept of time to a realm where time is irrelevant. Time is beside the point. Forgiveness takes our healing out of linear time, thus saving us the experience of slow going recurring upsets. It also doesn’t matter how long or how deeply you have been upset on this issue; changing your mind will change all of that.