My EGO has a GRIP on me today!! 1-19-16 meeting notes
Lesson 16 I have no Neutral Thoughts
“Our real thoughts extend the truth. Our ordinary thoughts multiply illusions—multiply zeroes. However, I think there is a third category, not mentioned here, and that is our ordinary thoughts that reflect our real thoughts and therefore move us in their direction.” Robert Perry commentary
“all fear thoughts boot our minds out of the peace of God, and we are either in that peace or not.”
Lesson 20- 1, 2, 1st sentence 3
No force - when you are ready you will be ready. (sounds like Yogi Berra!)
# 35 Miracles are expressions of love, but they may not always have observable effects.
This is very important. One of the traps that people fall into, as I have already said, whether they work with A Course in Miracles or they are into any other form of healing, is that they want results. If I do not get results, if your cold does not disappear, if the wound does not heal, if this tumor does not go away, then that means I am not a good healer. All that has happened is that we have fallen into the same trap of making the body real.
One of the major cautions the Course consistently expresses is: Do not make the error real.
All that the Course would say is: Do whatever it is you want to do, but do not make it into the Kingdom of Heaven. Do not make a big deal out of it. That is the thing. What we usually do is make a big deal out of everything.
Q: But you are making the error real every time you do anything physical.
A: Of course! You cannot help that. But you make it worse when you try to justify it. It is much better to say that I still have this body and I believe I have certain needs, and there are certain things that give me pleasure; there are certain things I want to avoid because they give me pain. As long as I am a body, I am going to have those, but that does not mean anything. What is meaningful is that I forgive this person who works with me or who lives with me, and that I really want this relationship healed. The other stuff is kind of silly. The idea is to do whatever it is, but not to make a big deal of it.
We had lots of great questions tonight, and input from everyone. One of the biggest topics was:
We spoke about instance we all experience “When the Ego Grips Tightly, and you know it, and you even know how great it feels to let go, to change your mind, to choose for peace, but today, at this very moment, you just can’t seem to see it “differently”. Something has “happened”. Something has been “said or not said”. And the event seems to have been crafted just to make you feel “disrespected, not valued, unappreciated, unfairly treated”—any one of these will do. And deep down you feel the “source of this upset” must be punished. And at the same time, as you are feeling more separate, you also are being punished.
So what’s a Course Student to do? Ah—nothing - nothing. Being a Course Student doesn’t mean you have to do anything- there is no pressure- no force- if there was you would feel resentment. (Lesson 20). Perhaps, though, when you don’t like the feeling of separation, anger, guilt, shame, fear- you might take a look at the “thoughts and ideas” that you are holding onto (or more accurately your ego is holding on for you) that allow that trigger to bother you so much. Perhaps you have felt “unappreciated, not valued, not respected, not good enough, not smart enough, not ____________________(fill in the blank) before at some time in the past, or multiple times? In other situations or with different people? That is your first clue that perhaps it isn’t all about this particular situation at all. We bring our past interpretations and unforgiving thoughts with us and we see the world through that lens. That is what lesson 16 is designed to start to help us change our mind about. To merely observe this fact is to lessen our attachment to the meaning of the current situation.
OK- now we have become more aware of what is going on. We know that we could change our mind. We know that we could just acknowledge responsibility for our thoughts, and ask for the world (tongue in cheek of course) to change so that we can feel differently. But we also know deep down that our thoughts are creating the world we see, so we feel according to our thoughts.
Next stesp-- pause, breathe- ask - pray- pray hard- to See it Differently. To Change our Minds. To Choose Peace over this. To See Clearly- Lesson 20—I Want To See.
And then, have grace around the situation and for yourself. When you are ready, you will be ready to do this. Until then, know that you are an extension of Love, Perfectly loved forever, unchanging, no matter what the ego tells you.
I was particularly grateful for tonight’s meeting- as I was having a situation where the world (or I should say an insurance company) is being unfair. Completely unfair. And the idea I keep holding onto is the “World Should be Fair”. How can a world that my ego creates be fair? The world it not fair. It is up to me to accept that the world is not fair, and breathe. Perhaps I don’t know what is in my best interest? I think I do- but if I just entertain the idea that maybe this is what is supposed to happen then I feel lighter, less angry, and after all- does it do me any good to punish myself with hatred just because other people have unhealed thoughts? Does it do me any good to attack because they are attacking my rights? My attack thoughts stay in my head, and my body, and make me sick. Sick and tired!
What if I forgive them (in this case the Doctor, PA, insurance nurse, insurance company, insurance Doc, etc etc) for being human- for thinking with their ego- and then I do my best to get my claim paid- in a peaceful manner? How would that feel? I think I will try that today. BEWARE—not to fake and be nice- but to forgive them for behaving from their ego thoughts- we are brothers- we all think we are doing what is right. I’ll keep you posted on my progress- not the results- my thoughts. (Principal 35).
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