Distinctions Made Between Behaving Peacefully Vs. True Healing
By now, most of us when in a situation can see clearly that there are 2 paths. Two very different responses we can take. Most of the time we can even see which path would bring peace, and which would keep us in the circular path of engaging in defense and attack. Because we are students of the course, sometimes we choose to take the path of peace. So why does the issue come up again? Why does that person end up triggering an upset in us yet again? When we have chosen to act in a peaceful manner.
Because changing our behavior willfully, based on rationalization, is still an act of the Ego. With it comes the idea that we have sacrificed something. And believe it or not, we hold onto that sacrifice and it exacts a punishment- eventually. So we either act out, or act in. We suddenly burst out and bring up all the upsets we have been collecting, the evidence of transgressions or unfairness of the past, the time this or that happened to us, etc. because without us even being aware we have not gotten to the source of the problem; our problem. The question came up in class- what if we move away from the situation or person, isn’t that peaceful? Maybe, in the situation, we have brought more peace relative to what could have been, and that may be the best action in the moment. However, the pain that we felt is a blessing to observe as it points us in the direction of where we have yet to heal. Believe it or not that person or situation could be our savior. We have not yet changed the source of the problem. But we are getting closer. Because the source was not that person or situation. We know this because we have felt this way before in another situation or with other people, and thus that feeling goes where we go- so how do we really escape? And why does it seem so difficult? Course shows us that it is easy. It requires just a little willingness to see it differently.
The source of our upset is always a mistaken idea that we hold onto. And it manifests in many different ways. Like facets of a stone- they are all the stone but they look different. Each person describes their individual upsets. And that is a great place to start.
So how is it we get triggered? Why? The answer is that we could not be triggered by a comment or behavior unless we actually had the belief, however small, that it is true. For instance, if I thought I was absolutely gorgeous (which I do not), then if someone said you are “ugly” I would curiously wonder what was wrong with their vision. If I had even a small doubt that my looks are perfectly fine, I would be triggered to react. Which could occur in many ways- feel badly, defend, attack, try to shake it off, avoid them, wish bad things happen to them (oops), etc. etc. That is how it works. So the Source would be my self-doubt that I am perfectly fine. Perfect looking. Another more difficult example is if someone triggers you to feel like they think you aren’t smart enough, or they are demeaning, or speaking down to you- it is because you don’t feel smart enough. Enough for what? That is the question. If one feels that smart is an attribute needed for Love, and if LOVE is all that really counts, then there would not be that judgement. It is smart to learn to awaken to LOVE; that is all that is real. There is no IQ number that teaches us LOVE. They aren’t related. Many people with very high IQs do not have peace in their hearts, or peace in the intentions or accomplishments. And the reverse is just as true. So self-advice might be- “Don’t get sucked into a conversation that is not Real- is just drama!”. Observe my feelings. And then go to the Course to learn.
So how do we get to the Source of the problem. Or better yet, how do we solve the source of the problem. That is easy, although we may have resistance to doing it. It requires changing our mind about the person or situation. Seeing the person as the same child of God- as One- with us. The problem is the false idea that we could be separate from Source, or from each other. That somehow we made ourselves- egocentric view. We are all an extension of One Loving Thought.
How do change our mind? We ask for help. From Holy Spirit within us- we ask to see it Differently. To see the Oneness that is True. To see the problem where it lies. To see our brother as the Child Of God they are, beneath what our ego or their ego perceives. To see ourselves truly.
We might still leave the person or situation, or we might stay and have a different experience there. Behavior may or may not change. But the Peacefulness will be there either way.
Respectfully submitted,
Dahlia